foxyolive

Journey to the best health of my life (yes, the journey includes olives)


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Waking up crying

Have you ever woken up crying? I have. In fact, I did this morning. I’m not unhappy right now. Things are good. I’m well on my way to completing Whole 30 and Neila Rey’s 30 days of strength. I feel great!  So why did I wake up crying?

I don’t remember my dream, but my first thought was losing my husband.  That’s all it took.  I imagined being in hospital and being told he had passed.  My heart hurt and my eyes filled with tears.  So, I guess, the love that I feel for him made me cry.  That’s not such a bad reason, right?  He is still here by my side and I hope we have many more memories together before either one of us has to learn to cope without the other.

One thing I’ve learned is that I am a worrier.  Not warrior, worrier.  I worry about the future.  About what might happen.  My mind takes me to worst situation and I wonder how I would cope.  Life can change in a split second.  I’ve seen it happen too many times.  I know I should enjoy the life I have today and not think about what I can’t control, but sometimes it is easier said than done.

Do you worry too?  Or are you better than me at enjoying life for what it is?  How do you keep worries about the future from controlling your thoughts today?


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Everything is going to be ok…

holding hands

I lay my head to rest after a day of coughing my guts up. You had got into bed a few minutes before me. You had gone to work that day and I had missed you more than ever. You were so sleepy, but I couldn’t sleep. We were side by side. I was under 6 or 7 blankets, but I was still shivering. We both lay on our backs.

I took your left hand with my right hand.

At that moment I felt warmth. Every memory of you supporting me went through my mind.  I even felt guilty for the moments that I had taken you for granted.  I looked over at you sleeping softly and it hit me. I’m so lucky.  You will do anything for me.  The last couple of weeks you have done everything you can to help me feel better.  I realized that you try to make me feel better all the time.  Not a day goes by that you don’t call me beautiful or smart.  You give me strength in all areas of my life.

I drifted to sleep holding your hand.  I know with you there everything is going to be ok.